Hey friends. I am checking in. I have been back on track since Monday. I have lost 5 lbs in a week and a half and looking forward to continuing. I feel really good about getting things under control. This has been a tough week and I caught myself every time I was ready to dive into eating to feel better about things. I didn't do it and guess what???? I felt better about things! Some prayer and chatting with friends helped get through the compulsive part of it and then it didn't seem so urgent after that.

Keep praying for me please. It takes a village!

Never quit quiting!

I have had several people ask where I've been blog wise so here I am. I'm glad you kept me accountable. I have not been doing the things I said I would and do not deserve your support, but thank you. I will be recommitting to my eating program this next Monday so hang in there with me please.

Hope

Hi guys. I'm back. It has been a busy holiday season along with a crazy season in life. I've been praying for clarity lately and today, because of my friends, some finally came.

I have spent the last year of my life in some pretty tense situations. Trying to be a manager for the Alano Club through the transition of a new building, and helping to build a collegeage ministry at First Wes. I went into both with great faith in God's will and a open heart and mind. Slowly, after a year of making many decisions in both, I have slowly gotten away from God's will and gotten back into mine. I don't think I lost faith as much as I thought I had it all under control so God could work on someone else for a while :) The last few weeks at the AC have been kind of tough. Dear friends have relapsed, every week there are newness issues to deal with and we are trying to get ACE off the ground so eventually the club will be self sufficient. We all have worked so hard to get where we are and it is very hard to bring something along then just turn it over to God with blind faith that someone will be responsible enough to grab on and continue. The ministry is kind of at the same place. We are brainstorming ideas to grow with a leadership team that is invested in heavily by our adult leaders. Again, we have to let go and let them and let God, a lot harder then it sounds. I just want everyone to be alright and really bust my butt to try to be sure that happens and guess what......it won't. It is unrealistic to think I can, that doesn't stop me though, until dear friends rein me in and remind me that if I don't let go, it really doesn't give anyone any room to grow.

It won't be easy but my plan is to slowly let go, being careful that I don't just check out but responsibly and slowly move toward turning these thing over to the people God is providing and trust Him that it will be just fine.

I know it is kind of hard to tie this in with weight loss but I'll give it a try. All of this intensity of this journey has put eating in the forefront. It is my crutch and something that I have learned to depend on to get my mind off of other things. I feel I'm gaining perspective, not completely clear yet but more will be reveled I'm sure.