The first day

Today is the first day of my weight loss adventure. I plan to use God and the 12-steps of recovery to lose 75-100 pounds by the time I turn 50. That gives me a little over a year and a half . I am going to make healthier choices avoiding trigger food, and dealing with my feelings. My goal is not to be skinny but to be at a weight that I am comfortable at and 150-175 has been in that zone in the past. My present weight is 249.1 I don't want to switch addictions again, I want to learn an effective healthy way to deal with my addictive personality.
A good friend always says he is addicted to "more" and that is what I want to work on.

I know that I will have bad days, and that not every day will be a success. The thing I want to do differently is to be honest about what is going on instead of hiding in food. That is going to be a hard habit to break. I eat when I'm stressed, happy, sad and even when I'm not hungry. Food has become like an all purpose drug for me.

These are my goals which I will hopefully achieve one day at a time, I believe I can do almost anything for 24 hours. I can plan my plans but not results:
One day at a time I will try to:
1. work out at least 10 minutes (building up as I go)
2. stay accountable to you
3. pray before each meal or snack, being accountable to God
4. work on the steps daily.
5. Journal daily and blog weekly and on the bad days (don't want you to get tired of me)


The first step is:
We admitted we were powerless over ________, and that our lives had become unmanageable.

My blank is filled with food this time. Not only am I admitting my life is unmanageable because of my food issues, but I want to go a step further and not fill that blank with yet another addiction. I am an addictive personality and I truly believe I am going to always have that, so what I need to do is learn to deal with it constructively. This is where God comes in. I need to rely on Him to light my path in fighting my nature. We say in recovery that at some point in recovery, we come to a jumping off point where we will have to rely on God to change us, and I am there. While He works on me I need support and that is where you come in. Please be praying for me to remain teachable and open minded.

Step 2:
Came to believe that a power greater then ourselves could restore us to sanity.

I believe in God, but am struggling a little with Him returning me to sanity right now. I don't feel I deserve it yet. I need to be committed for a length of time before I can believe He will restore me to sanity. Free will has alway gotten in the way and along this path I need to learn the self discipline He wants me to practice.

So step 2 it is for now. I'll be working it!